24 September 2009

Team Awesome: Back in action

Word of the week: Flugelhorn

Master of the Possimpible: Barney Stinson



NPH rocks. In my book, he’s second only to Jack Sparrow (not Johnny Depp, specifically Jack Sparrow. Sorry, that’s Captain Jack Sparrow).

The only thing is, if Barn-man transforms into the schmoopy shmuck that he’s threatening to become, I’ll hate him forever. One Ted is quite enough.


Dialogue of the Week:

Scene: Ted’s first class in Columbia University

Future Ted Voiceover : I still hadn’t decided what kind of professor I wanted to be – ‘authoritative’ or ‘cool guy’. I thought I would decide in the moment. And I did. About 20 times.

Ted (addressing class of 200 perfectly quiet college students): Good morning. Ssup, dudes? (suddenly shouting) Silence! (pause) This is Architecture 101, I am Professor Mosby. But you can call me Ted. Professor Mosby. T-Dawg. Do not call me T-Dawg.

Of Gremlins & Girls:

Scene : Maclaren’s Bar, four years ago. Ted and Barney in (wait for it) tuxedos

Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girl-friend? Simple. The rules for girls are the same as the rules for gremlins.

Ted: Gremlins?

Barney: Gremlins. Rule No 1 – Never get them wet. In other words, don’t let her take a shower at your place. No 2 – Keep them away from sunlight. i.e don’t ever see them during the day. And rule no 3 – Never feed them after midnight – meaning she doesn’t sleep over and you don’t have breakfast with her. EVER.

Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool?

Barney (with super disgusted look): No, Ted. Brunch is not cool.

Overall rating: To quote Lily & Marshall – “Not good enough! (whippp!)” Felt like the cast and the writers are not yet on form.
__________________

Lily (after finding out that Barney and Robin don’t want to be a couple after all): (sob, sob!) We were gonna take cooking classes together, and we were gonna go on camping trips together, and then we were gonna sit around telling funny stories about our cooking classes and our camping trips! (Sob, sob!) (shovels ice-cream into her mouth)

(Me: And this is exactly why couples are LAME.)

Marshall: I know, honey, I know (pause). So… has the boat sailed on sex tonight or….?

(Me: Ha ha haaaaa…!!! Man, they do not use this guy’s talent enough!)
__________________

Yes, I posted about a sit-com. No, I had nothing better to write about. Let’s just say my week so far hasn’t been the best in my life. I worked on the previous weekend, got my promised holiday taken away, got pressurized by the client, and scolded by my seniors, and by my managers (yes, plural), and got dumped with stupid work (when I was clearly busy!) by other managers and a partner. Seriously, the high point of my week so far was watching random words appear by themselves on my friend’s laptop. (True story)

As far as rules go, I only have one for September: If you are an auditor, or the apprentice of an auditor, never sit in your own office in September and attempt to work. EVER. Go to the client’s office, where auditors = God (mostly)

I need a life, don’t I?

11 September 2009

The September Effect

Any fellow articled slave of ICAI can understand the following (especially the ones working in MNCs!):

S[2:56 PM]:
u knw wat my cheery thought (if any (eye rolling smiley) ) these days is..

Me [2:57 PM]:
Wht? Tell

S [2:58 PM]:
dat LY this time i ws dyin in Client A*..
n even though m dyin now its a much comfortin death...

Me [2:58 PM]:
Yappa! U think too much gal!

S [2:58 PM]:
hullo.. u need tomake such dumbass excuses to not admit dat ur life SUCKS..!!

Me [2:59 PM]: Ur life doesn't SUCK I fail to see wr the sucking comes in. (insert tongue-sticking-out smiley here) That came out wrong

S [3:01 PM]:
i ve yummy bisibele bath in my dabba.. n all i cn think of right now is consolidatin exps for IDEA**.. SUCKY life..!
next week my frens r plannin to go to fuga for bollywood night n askin me to stay over somewr n gt sloshed.. but all i think of is.. "i need to make to Client B* so no drinkin" SUCKY life...!
weekend comin up n AMs r makin movie plans.. n i m discussin my review schedules wid KS^.. Client C* 1st, Client D* next n keep sunday to cover review points.. SUCKY SUCKY life...!!
(teeth bared in anger smiley)


Yup. September in a nutshell.

Thanks to S, for the superb sum-up of our lives at this poignant and never-to-be-forgotten time.

___________

* Clients A, B, C and D - on S's sincere and very scared request. These are India Inc big-shots whose names shall forever be shrouded in mystery. So here's all the dirt you're gonna get - A is a place where S's fondest memories are NOT, C and D have been draining the life blood from her the past few weeks, and B is where she will be shortly, and really wants to be, hence the good behaviour. [ I love not telling secrets :D ]

** Highly annoying and much relied upon sampling tool. (Ya, I did say only fellow CA students could ever get this)

^KS - the world's coolest manager, and probably the reason why S didn't mind dying in Clients C and D. He could make a sloth feel enthu about auditing!
___________

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to an audit work-paper (all the li'l notes and symbols) is completely unintentional and absolutely attributable to the September effect! As is the unforeseen connection between the word "disclaimer" and audits!

(Who am I and where have they put the real me?!)