God really likes me to laugh

Or He'd like me to be fired for laughing aloud at the client. Whichever.

I have no words.

What bugs me is, why would they intimidate the Consultant Physician? Why not start with the "Junior Staff Nurse" or "Jr Housekeeper"?

I thought they might intimidate the "Trainee Perfusionist" on Row 1, too, but he turns out to be pretty damn important.

Also, this was totally not meant to be my comeback post to this blog. There's some stuff in the pipeline, I promise. Please don't intimidate me. Expecially by circular.

Not all treasure's silver and gold, mate

One stormy night, when the power was shut off. The Family, doing the crossword by the light of an emergency lamp:-

Me (reading out the clue): Al Jolson's boy, 5 letters. Who's Al Jolson?
The Father: I don't know, di
(short brain-racking pause)
The Mother (with a look of epiphany): I know - ELVIS !!!
(horrified pause)
The Mother: The whole of America will kill me, no?

****

One Sunday, post janmashtami two years ago. The Family, lazing around the living room, after a late and varied breakfast:-

Me: That teratti paal was awesome. I loved it!
The Sister: Me too!
The Father: Me three!!
Me (hurriedly): I'm claiming that teratti paal - sticking my flag into it and claiming it in the name of Me!
The Sister: You can't do that!
Me: Why not? They did it to the moon!
The Sister (a soon-to-be-lawyer): No they didn't. You can't claim stuff like that. It's the common heritage of mankind. And so is teratti paal!
Me: ...

****
A far-off day, and a horrifically messy room:

Me (raving and ranting at the Sister): Can't you atleast put your clothes away or hang them up? You just fling things all around without even bothering! Totally useless and irresponsible ... (insert more ravings and rantings of your choice here) ... If you do this again, I am going to kill you and then come and jump on your grave - wearing spikes!
(pause for a deep breath)
The Sister, the athlete in the house in our school days: Wearing MY new spikes??

****

Early one morning in Law class, during a class on Directorship of a Company and specifically, why the position cannot be assigned:

Mr. J, law professor and Company Secretary: ... The office of the President of India is not your grandfather's property...

****

One which I couldn't resist, taken from here:


E: I want popcorn.
Me: You could eat a can of chick peas.
E: Wow! I could also eat the carpet!

****
For more witticisms, go here!

The September Effect

Any fellow articled slave of ICAI can understand the following (especially the ones working in MNCs!):

S[2:56 PM]:
u knw wat my cheery thought (if any (eye rolling smiley) ) these days is..

Me [2:57 PM]:
Wht? Tell

S [2:58 PM]:
dat LY this time i ws dyin in Client A*..
n even though m dyin now its a much comfortin death...

Me [2:58 PM]:
Yappa! U think too much gal!

S [2:58 PM]:
hullo.. u need tomake such dumbass excuses to not admit dat ur life SUCKS..!!

Me [2:59 PM]: Ur life doesn't SUCK I fail to see wr the sucking comes in. (insert tongue-sticking-out smiley here) That came out wrong

S [3:01 PM]:
i ve yummy bisibele bath in my dabba.. n all i cn think of right now is consolidatin exps for IDEA**.. SUCKY life..!
next week my frens r plannin to go to fuga for bollywood night n askin me to stay over somewr n gt sloshed.. but all i think of is.. "i need to make to Client B* so no drinkin" SUCKY life...!
weekend comin up n AMs r makin movie plans.. n i m discussin my review schedules wid KS^.. Client C* 1st, Client D* next n keep sunday to cover review points.. SUCKY SUCKY life...!!
(teeth bared in anger smiley)


Yup. September in a nutshell.

Thanks to S, for the superb sum-up of our lives at this poignant and never-to-be-forgotten time.

___________

* Clients A, B, C and D - on S's sincere and very scared request. These are India Inc big-shots whose names shall forever be shrouded in mystery. So here's all the dirt you're gonna get - A is a place where S's fondest memories are NOT, C and D have been draining the life blood from her the past few weeks, and B is where she will be shortly, and really wants to be, hence the good behaviour. [ I love not telling secrets :D ]

** Highly annoying and much relied upon sampling tool. (Ya, I did say only fellow CA students could ever get this)

^KS - the world's coolest manager, and probably the reason why S didn't mind dying in Clients C and D. He could make a sloth feel enthu about auditing!
___________

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to an audit work-paper (all the li'l notes and symbols) is completely unintentional and absolutely attributable to the September effect! As is the unforeseen connection between the word "disclaimer" and audits!

(Who am I and where have they put the real me?!)